愛 (love)

BY: LUÌSA TIBANA

EDITED BY: MICHELLE NISHIDERA

I loved the way my name fit in my great-grandma's mouth

I never understood why

people would say her Portuguese was broken

How so?

How could it be?

when her voice carried so proudly

the fingerprints of the first people she had ever loved

They said her Portuguese was broken

but what is wrong with a tongue

that walks on foreign soil

but always finds its way back home?

How could it be broken?

when every time she spoke

I could feel the love of people I never got to meet

How could something broken

show me all the things she built for me?

I was only two when she passed away

but every time I feel something so huge

that it frightens me

that it barely fits inside my body

that it takes my breath away

Every time I stammer

Every time that

I... I...

I... I... I...

have too much or not enough to say

I picture her right beside me

looking at me

as I struggle to find the words

and all I can say is

I... I... I... I...

Then she always smiles

there is always so much pride

so much gleam in her tiny eyes

And I hear a voice that grounds me

that takes me to a place that had never heard my name

say

what a lovely mantra, dear!

Did you know

you are repeating

the Japanese word for love?

They said her Portuguese was broken.

But how could something broken

take me to sites I had never been to?

With every word she said

I could hear

I miss our home

come along with me

They said her Portuguese was broken

I say there is nothing to be fixed.